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A corporare design to remember

That sound­ed like a pray­er. A pray­er in a public school. God has no place wit­hin the­se walls, just like facts don’t have a place wit­hin an orga­ni­zed reli­gi­on. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wan­na drink ano­t­her woman! The Inter­net King? I won­der if he could pro­vi­de fas­ter nudity.

Stan Lee never left. I’m afraid his mind is no lon­ger in mint con­di­ti­on. Uh, no, they’­re say­ing “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” Fire can be our friend; whe­ther it’s toas­ting mar­sh­mal­lows or rai­ning down on Charlie.

And now, in the spi­rit of the sea­son: start shop­ping. And for every dol­lar of Krus­ty mer­chan­di­se you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal pur­po­ses, sick kids may inclu­de hoo­kers with a cold. Look out, Itchy! He’s Irish! I did­n’t get rich by signing checks. Shoplif­ting is a vic­tim­less crime. Like pun­ching someo­ne in the dark.

Inflamm­a­ble means flamm­a­ble? What a coun­try. Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours. You know, the one with all the well mea­ning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Chris­tia­ni­ty. I’ll keep it short and sweet — Fami­ly. Reli­gi­on. Friendship. The­se are the three demons you must slay if you wish to suc­ceed in business.

Oh, so they have Inter­net on com­pu­ters now! Wea­se­ling out of things is important to learn. It’s what sepa­ra­tes us from the animals…except the wea­sel. Kids, you tried your best and you fai­led mise­r­a­b­ly. The les­son is, never try. The Inter­net King? I won­der if he could pro­vi­de fas­ter nudi­ty… I stand by my racial slur.

He did­n’t give you gay, did he? Did he?! Homer no func­tion beer well without. Get rea­dy, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! You don’t win friends with salad. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homo­se­xu­als flaming.

No child­ren have ever medd­led with the Repu­bli­can Par­ty and lived to tell about it. Whoa, slow down the­re, maes­tro. There’s a *New* Mexi­co? Aaah! Natu­ral light! Get it off me! Get it off me!

Yes! I am a citi­zen! Now which way to the wel­fa­re office? I’m kid­ding, I’m kid­ding. I work, I work. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be mil­lion­aires! We could buy all kinds of use­ful things like…love! Oh, a *sar­casm* detec­tor. Oh, that’s a *real­ly* use­ful invention!

They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. The Inter­net King? I won­der if he could pro­vi­de fas­ter nudi­ty… Oh, lone­li­ness and cheese­bur­gers are a dan­ge­rous mix. A woman is a lot like a ref­ri­gera­tor. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. Wea­se­ling out of things is important to learn. It’s what sepa­ra­tes us from the animals…except the weasel.