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The birth of a new brand

Yes! I am a citi­zen! Now which way to the wel­fa­re office? I’m kid­ding, I’m kid­ding. I work, I work. Bart, with $10,000 we’d be mil­lion­aires! We could buy all kinds of use­ful things like…love!

They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. The Inter­net King? I won­der if he could pro­vi­de fas­ter nudi­ty… Oh, lone­li­ness and cheese­bur­gers are a dan­ge­rous mix. A woman is a lot like a ref­ri­gera­tor. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. Wea­se­ling out of things is important to learn. It’s what sepa­ra­tes us from the animals…except the weasel.

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But, Aqua­man, you can­not mar­ry a woman without gills. You’­re from two dif­fe­rent worlds… Oh, I’ve was­ted my life. Your guil­ty con­sci­en­ces may make you vote Demo­cra­tic, but secret­ly you all yearn for a Repu­bli­can pre­si­dent to lower taxes, bru­ta­li­ze cri­mi­nals, and rule you like a king! Oh, ever­ything loo­ks bad if you remem­ber it. I’m a Spal­ding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

Get rea­dy, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! Your guil­ty con­sci­en­ces may make you vote Demo­cra­tic, but secret­ly you all yearn for a Repu­bli­can pre­si­dent to lower taxes, bru­ta­li­ze cri­mi­nals, and rule you like a king! What good is money if it can’t inspi­re ter­ror in your fel­low man?

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